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Corporate-Buzzwords-for-2000
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Blamestorming:  Sitting around in a group discussing why a
deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

Body Nazis:  Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who
look down on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively.

Seagull Manager:  A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise,
messes on everything and then leaves.

Chainsaw Consultant:  An outside expert brought in to reduce the
employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.

Cube Farm:  An office filled with cubicles.

Idea Hamsters:  People who always seem to have their idea
generators running.

Mouse Potato:  The online, wired generation's answer to the
couch potato.

Prairie Dogging:  When someone yells or drops something loudly
in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see
what's going on.

SITCOMs:  What yuppies turn into when they have children and
one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.  Stands
for Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.

Squirt the Bird:  To transmit a signal to a satellite.

Starter Marriage:  A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce
with no kids, no property, and no regrets.

Stress Puppy:  A person who seems to thrive on being stressed
out and whiny.

Swiped Out:  An ATM or credit card that has been rendered
useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive
use.

Tourists:  People who take training classes just to get a vacation
from their jobs. "We had three serious students in class; the rest
were just tourists."

Treeware:  Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.

Xerox Subsidy:  Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from
one's workplace.

Going Postal:  Euphemism for being totally stressed out, for
losing it. Makes reference to the unfortunate track record of postal
employees who have snapped and gone on shooting rampages.

Alpha Geek:  The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person
in an office or work group.  "Ask Larry, he's the Alpha Geek around
here.

Assmosis:  The process by which some people seem to absorb
success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than
working hard.

Chips and Salsa:  Chips = hardware, Salsa = software.  "Well,
first we gotta figure out if the problem is in your chips or your salsa."

Flight Risk:  Used to describe employees who are suspected
of planning to leave a company or department soon.

GOOD job:  A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job.  A well-paying job people
take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as
soon as they are solvent again.

Irritainment:  Entertainment and media spectacles that are
annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.
The O.J. trials were a prime example.

Percussive Maintenance:  The fine art of whacking the heck
out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

Uninstalled:  Euphemism for being fired.  Heard on the
voicemail of a Vice President at a downsizing computer firm:
"You have reached the number of an uninstalled Vice President.
Please dial our main number and ask the operator for assistance."
See also Decruitment.

Vulcan Nerve Pinch:  The taxing hand positions required to
reach all the appropriate keys for certain commands.  For
instance, the warm re-boot for a Mac II computer involves
simultaneously pressing the Control Key, the Command key,
the Return key and the Power On key

 


 
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