So here I sit, in all my glory... 
Lend me an ear, and I'll tell ya a story... 
Once had a wife--she was such a dear, 
Then came the Internet, and it all disappeared! 
Now there she sits , for hours on end... 
I don't care where I'm goin', don't care where I've been. 
It could be two, or it could be nine... 
she really doesn't care, long as she's online. 
She gets outta work and rushes home, 
She comes in screaming at me, "Get off the phone!" 
Where the hell's my hug?  Where is my kiss? 
But she's at the computer--that's all she missed! 
Talking to buddies, checking the mail 
All her priorities--I'm in cyber Hell!! 
My stomach's growling--it's so unfair! 
No clean dishes and I'm out of underwear! 
Drink me a beer, stare at the walls 
I'll pick at my teeth while I'm scratching my balls 
Farting and burping all while I pee 
Can you believe she's there??  She could be with ME!!
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