She does not: GET PMS

She becomes: HORMONALLY HOMICIDAL

She is not: A BAD COOK

She is: MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE

She is not: A BAD DRIVER

She is: AUTOMOTIVELY CHALLENGED

She does not get: DRUNK

She is: ACCIDENTALLY OVER-SERVED

She is not:A GOSSIP

She is a: VERBAL TERMINATOR

She does not: WORK OUT TOO MUCH

She is an: ABDOMINAL OVERACHIEVER

She is not: HOOKED ON SOAP OPERAS

She is: MELODRAMATICALLY FIXATED

She is not: COLD OR FRIGID

She is: THERMALLY INCOMPATIBLE

She does not: WEAR TOO MUCH MAKE-UP

She is: COSMETICALLY OVERSATURATED

She will never: GAIN WEIGHT

She will become: A METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER

         She does not: SHAVE HER LEGS

She experiences: TEMPORARY STUBBLE REDUCTION

She does not: SUN BATHE

She experiences: SOLAR ENHANCEMENT

She does not: SHOP TOO MUCH

She is: OVERLY SUSCEPTIBLE TO MARKETING PLOYS

         She does not: SNORE

She is: NASALLY REPETITIVE

She does not: GET DRUNK

She becomes: VERBALLY DYSLEXIC

          She is not: TOO SKINNY

She is: SKELETALLY PROMINENT
.