YOU JUST MIGHT BE A YANKEE IF:

 1. You think barbecue is a verb meaning
"to cook outside,"

 2. You think Heinz ketchup is really spicy.

 3. You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce"
correctly.

 4. For breakfast, you would prefer 
potatoes au gratin to grits.

 5. You don't know what a moon pie is.

 6. You've never had an RC cola.

 7. You've never, ever, eaten okra,
fried or boiled.

 8. You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.

 9. You've never seen a live chicken,
and the only cows you've
seen are on road trips.

 10. You have no idea what a polecat is.

 11. You don't see anything wrong with
putting a sweater on a poodle.

 12. You don't have bangs.

 13. You would rather vacation at 
Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.

 14. More than two generations of your family
have been kicked out of the 
same prep school in Connecticut.

 15. You would rather have your son
become a lawyer than grow
up to get his own TV fishing show.

 16. Instead of referring to two or more people
as "y'all," you call them "you guys," 
even if both of them are women.

 17. You don't think Ted Kennedy has an accent.

 18. You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-n-knife show.

 19. You think more money should go to 
important scientific research at your
       university than to pay the salary 
of the head football coach.

 20. You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.

 21. The last time you smiled was when you 
prevented someone from getting on
an on-ramp to the highway.

 22. You don't have any hats in your closet 
that advertise feed stores.

 23. The farthest south you've ever been is the
perfume counter at Neiman-Marcus.

 24. You call binoculars opera glasses.

 25. You can't spit out the car window
without pulling over to the side 
of the road and stopping.

 26. You would never wear pink or an applique sweatshirt.

 27. You don't know what applique is.

 28. You don't know anyone with at
least two first names 
(i.e.,Joe Bob,FayeEllen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo,
Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice, et al).

 29. You don't have doilies, and you certainly
don't know how to make one.

 30. You've never been to a craft show.

 31. You get freaked out when people on the 
subway talk to you.

 32. You can do your laundry without quarters.

 33. None of your fur coats are homemade.